25 lessons from 25 years of marriage part-6

25 lessons from 25 years of marriage part-6

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SERIES NOTE:  Since one of the most read posts I’ve published was about how Theresa and I stayed married for 25 years so far, here’s a series of 25 lessons I’ve learned in that 25 years!  I’ll be posting twice weekly – Mondays and Wednesdays – with this series.  And Fridays will be something fun/different.

11. Apologize first.

I apologized to her, voice quiet and steady unlike the roar and edge it had when I offended her earlier in the evening.  She listened as I spoke, arms crossed in the appropriate defensive stance I had precipitated with my harsh words.  Far more often in our marriage I have been the offender-apologizer in our marriage.  It is an unfortunate intersection of my selfishness and a strong personality that has caused her to be hurt and demeaned far too often.

If you’ve been married more than a few months, there has been tension; minor or major, there is something in conflict for you.  And when there is conflict, there is a call for an apology.

What I advise is apologize first.  Even if an objective third part could hear the whole argument and assess you as being 15% wrong and your spouse as 85% at fault, you can and should be the first to apologize.

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