Shining Light Into the Shadows: Practically Addressing Depression
A few years ago I told my wife I was going to move out.
There was no issue I had with her or our children or home. No one was actually ‘at fault’ but my depression had set in so painfully that I couldn’t function fully and I knew I was a ‘drag’ on the family. I wanted to be ‘away’ from them so as not to hurt them or cause them harm. Of course, that separation – had it occurred – would certainly have had an impact on them as well, but please remember I was not thinking clearly at the time.
My mother was bi-polar. She spent many a day locked away in her room in darkness and alone. My brothers and I had a pretty good relationship with her despite her challenges, but the severity and frequency of the ‘bad weeks’ eventually manifested in me a deep-seated fear of me becoming manic-depressive as well. I never really told anyone about it until I’d been married a few years. A bout of depressive days had taken a toll in our otherwise happy lives and I was worn down and hurting enough to finally vent that fear. She was loving and kind and listened. She reaffirmed love for me and committed to help in any way she could. My times of depression were seasonal and often manageable for the years to come. Then, after cresting the hill of 40 years alive, it settled in and I needed Theresa more than ever to stick with me and do that ‘any way she could’ kind of helping.
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