25 lessons from 25 years of marriage part-6
SERIES NOTE: Since one of the most read posts I’ve published was about how Theresa and I stayed married for 25 years so far, here’s a series of 25 lessons I’ve learned in that 25 years! I’ll be posting twice weekly – Mondays and Wednesdays – with this series. And Fridays will be something fun/different.
11. Apologize first.
I apologized to her, voice quiet and steady unlike the roar and edge it had when I offended her earlier in the evening. She listened as I spoke, arms crossed in the appropriate defensive stance I had precipitated with my harsh words. Far more often in our marriage I have been the offender-apologizer in our marriage. It is an unfortunate intersection of my selfishness and a strong personality that has caused her to be hurt and demeaned far too often.
If you’ve been married more than a few months, there has been tension; minor or major, there is something in conflict for you. And when there is conflict, there is a call for an apology.
What I advise is apologize first. Even if an objective third part could hear the whole argument and assess you as being 15% wrong and your spouse as 85% at fault, you can and should be the first to apologize.
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